Magic Pot of Jobs

Jobseekers! Especially you younger, less-confident ones! Do yourself a favor and don’t say this:

“Um, yeah, I’d like to talk with someone about maybe possibly getting a job.”

No, you’d like to talk about getting a job. We may be able to help you. Possibly, you will get a job through us. But you would like to talk about getting a job. Be confident!

Unless, you only “maybe, possibly” WANT a job. In which case, I don’t want to work with you and don’t waste my time.

This Monster posting is being passed around by online recruiters. It makes me laugh just how seriously this person takes himself:

TO all recruiters- A job description + a Salary range MUST be emailed to me FIRST. I will not return phone calls or emails unless this step is taken first many of you are calling with low paying jobs and no job description and I don’t have the time to talk to everyone about a position I don’t want. I WILL NOT come into your office “JUST TO TALK” about my resume. If you’re a staffing firm/recruiter I can care less about what your company does or how long its been around. You serve one purpose and that’s to tell IT professionals what Jobs you are hiring for right now and how much those jobs are paying.

Valid point in part. We’re really damn up front about that when we talk to candidates, but I know that’s not always the case. But I strongly disagree that my sole purpose is to tell people what my jobs pay. My purpose is also to represent the best needs of my client.

What I look for in tech folks (and really, people in general) is a true passion for IT. I love the gleam in the eyes of geeks that enjoy being geeks. There are far too many IT professionals who don’t give a shit about technology, it’s uses, capabilities, limitations, and possibilities. When people ask about money before they want to talk tech (or about my client’s product) it’s usually a sign for me that they lack that passion that I’m looking for.

And frankly, money is not that important AT THIS INITIAL PHASE. I have a general idea of what a candidate’s skills are worth, salary wise. If I contact someone about a particular client need, I (almost always) know if they’re in a reasonable range.

If you absolutely deem it imperative that I come in to speak about your company and my resume be prepared to pay for 2 hours of my time at 50.00 an hour plus gas. If you find this notion absurd then so is taking 2 hours of my time plus gas money just to talk about my resume when this info can be relayed over the phone.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. What I can get over the phone is a rundown of a candidate’s IT skills, and some discussion about your experience. What I can’t get is his/her personality, manner, mannerisms, demeanor. I can’t tell whether he/she makes eye contact. I can’t tell whether he/she has blue hair and multiple piercings (welcome at some of my clients, but not at others). I can’t tell his/her personal hygeine (more important than you think). I can’t tell how he/she deals with speaking with more than one person. I can’t telll whether he/she has a crappy handshake. To sum it up, I can’t tell a personality from one phone call alone.

If a candidate can’t make the time to come in for an interview with me, then they give me absolutely no incentive to send them to my client. None. They’ve illustrated that a process is not important to them. I always think to myself “there is someone else that wants this job more than you. I’m going to go find that person.”

All recruiters and Staffing Firms MUST have a pay range of $55-65.00 an hour +,1099 or corp to corp.

Sounds like a fascinating business model. Let me know how this works out.

Every day, around 4:30 and continuing on until at least 6:00 (so our voicemail says), it happens. People start calling and hurriedly asking for jobs. They aren’t people we’ve ever talked to before. Sometimes they’re recent graduates, or students home for the summer. Sometimes they don’t even know what we do and are looking for light industrial or clerical work.

But the common thread always seems to be, “Oh crap! Parent/Spouse is coming home soon and they’re going to ask me if I looked for a job today! I’d better call a temp agency or something…”

We get it a lot right after holidays too, after people have just had to sit through Thanksgiving dinner and tell their extremely successful sibling or cousin that they’re “between jobs right now.”

So there I was, crammed around a small table at a recruiting event, there’s conversation going on around me, and the candidate I’m talking with is soft spoken with a thick accent. And I haven’t eaten in hours, so my blood sugar is low. I space out for a second, and suddenly I am faced with an uncomfortable realization:

The candidate has just asked me a question and I have no idea what she’s said for the last minute and a half.

Shit.

I need a sandwich and a nap.

I spoke earlier this week to this term’s Career Orientation class at a local technical college. I had a good time- I like being the Real Actual Employer who tells the kids that their teachers really DO know what they’re talking about, such as:

Web developers and creative professionals can have multiple piercings and blue hair starting about 5 years into their careers, and even then only if they’re very good at what they do. At that point in your career, you’re “eccentric” and “creative,” even “brilliant.” At 20 and just coming out of school, you’re “a punk kid.”

It was great- we talked about the 20 most commonly asked interview questions, how to give a good handshake, how to dress, how to talk about money, and all that good stuff that doesn’t sink in when your career services people tell you about it.

And by the way, the best way to give a handshake is to hold your hand out, fingers together but thumb extended. When you shake the other person’s hand, the webby bit of your hand between your thumb and palm should meet the same part of the other person’s hand. That way, you can grip firmly without squishing their fingers and avoid the limp-fish thing.

This is important, because a bad handshake makes me feel like my hand is actually dirty and I have to resist the urge to wipe it off with something.

The Canadian Headhunter has one of my favorite pet peeves: Why on earth do parents call me on behalf of their children? Do they not understand that I’m not interested in working with anyone who lacks initiative to the point that Mommy or Daddy have to call me?

This happens more often than you’d think. We even had a woman call on behalf of her husband, send his resume from his email address, and then get angry when we replied to that email address, thus tipping him off to the call and hurting his pride.

You know what would make his pride feel better? Getting off his ass and calling us himself.

Actual quote in our office today:

“I may have boobies, but I know what Ajax is.”

- upon interviewing a particularly arrogant developer.

One of my talent just brought me chocolate for finding him a job.

I love what I do. Not because of the chocolate per se but because I love that my job involves making people so happy that they’re inspired to bring me chocolate.

It’s Godiva chocolate, too. I found him a very good job.

Walk out of my office at 10:30 AM.

Have a job by 5:00 PM.

Yeah, baby.

A few things clients have said to me in the last few days that made me pause:

About a help desk candidate: “But, we need someone for all 12 weeks. Isn’t he going to be looking for permanent work?” Have you ever met a freelance help desk rep?

About a talent whose assignment had recently ended for performance issues: “Please make sure she doesn’t call the managers here to ask about it. That’s uncomfortable.” How precisely do you suggest I “make sure?” Have her phone disconnected?

Things talent have said recently that made me pause:

After confronting him about why one of his references didn’t remember where they worked together. “Oh, she’s my cousin. I listed her as a personal reference. I’m sorry, did you need professional references?” Um, YES PLEASE?

“Well, my most recent experience is as a rep at the Clinique cosmetics counter, and since your office places Creative people…”